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Sometimes I drag my feet..okay alot of times I drag my feet. I have to weigh out all the possibilities and possibilities of those possibilities before I begin something. Or maybe I should say I did have to...because I am beginning to see that I was not meant to live this way.

Life piled upon life piled upon life is what I sometimes feel I'm living. If I do this then I must account for that and follow through with such and such and whew before you know it I'm exhausted, must rest immediately, and I've not even gotten past the thinking stage. Does it have to be this difficult? An old friend reminded me of a promise he once made, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest..." Ah, rest. Yeah, that's what I need.

There's a pile of bills on the counter and a box full of unread e-mails. Rest. I really should give the closets an organizing and clean under the beds. Rest. A friend is unhappy because I cannot meet when she wants to and ease her hurt feelings. Rest. So many burdens. Such inadequate shoulders. I cannot do it anymore.

So I won't. Won't hold myself responsible for misjudgments, misreadings, and unreasonable expectations. Won't continue to give pieces of myself that I cannot give. Won't leave my husband and babies in the lurch while I tend to false responsibilities and concerns that I cannot really take care of anyways.

I will give all that I can give. But no more. I will stop trying to be Superwoman-Cosmic Meeter of All Needs and just be me. I will not worry who says what so long as I know what He says about me. Right now He says Rest. So..G'Night.