Help Around the House

I've been needing some help lately so I hired a houseboy. What do you think?

Get Started

Sometimes I drag my feet..okay alot of times I drag my feet. I have to weigh out all the possibilities and possibilities of those possibilities before I begin something. Or maybe I should say I did have to...because I am beginning to see that I was not meant to live this way.

Life piled upon life piled upon life is what I sometimes feel I'm living. If I do this then I must account for that and follow through with such and such and whew before you know it I'm exhausted, must rest immediately, and I've not even gotten past the thinking stage. Does it have to be this difficult? An old friend reminded me of a promise he once made, "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest..." Ah, rest. Yeah, that's what I need.

There's a pile of bills on the counter and a box full of unread e-mails. Rest. I really should give the closets an organizing and clean under the beds. Rest. A friend is unhappy because I cannot meet when she wants to and ease her hurt feelings. Rest. So many burdens. Such inadequate shoulders. I cannot do it anymore.

So I won't. Won't hold myself responsible for misjudgments, misreadings, and unreasonable expectations. Won't continue to give pieces of myself that I cannot give. Won't leave my husband and babies in the lurch while I tend to false responsibilities and concerns that I cannot really take care of anyways.

I will give all that I can give. But no more. I will stop trying to be Superwoman-Cosmic Meeter of All Needs and just be me. I will not worry who says what so long as I know what He says about me. Right now He says Rest. So..G'Night.

It's a Small World

Some days seem like they will never end. You know, the days when certain little people in your home decide to rise at the top o the mornin and you feel as though you barely shut your eyes to snooze? When you just settle in for that deep satisfying sleep cycle and you hear the crib shaking and rattling in one room and in the next sounds of a possible renovation on the toy kitchen. How do you start this day right when it feels you barely finished the last one? Aside from a long hot shower (rare luxury that I barely remember anymore), a snatch at a Scripture to carry you through (oh for the days of quiet study and meditation!) and gulping a lukewarm coffee on the run throughout the day, you muddle through at first and hopefully find your groove as the hours unfold.

Although I cannot always say I start a day the right way my main goal has been to make sure I finish well. I actually have to repeat it to myself sometimes when I feel that I might be losing patience or understanding what it's like to be a small person in a big person's world. The other day I crouched down on the floor to my daughter's height and looked up to right about where I would be standing. A little daunting, definitely intimidating, especially during a trying moment. More than anything it helps to freeze frame the moment and try to look at things through my little ones eyes. If I can just give them the benefit of the doubt, take time to really listen and join them where they're at I find such a change in their demeanor and their behavior. Inspire these little ones to want to be the best self they can be. Instead of demanding change and threatening consequences, remain calm, follow through and don't lose sight of what you're aiming for. Now if I can just remember that once the day begins!

The Unlympics

Tim and I have been avidly watching the games this week. Especially Phelps and Coughlin and Johnson. Pushing aside the lack of sleep and the early mornings ahead we strain to see every detail of men and women racing against each other for recognition, for glory, for self fulfillment. And when we head to bed each night our bodies may be weary but our minds and spirits are exhilarated. For isn't that really why we watch sports, because we are reliving our own bright achievements or imagining what it feels like to be in the midst of someone else's shining moment? We cheer them on because somehow it feels we are cheering ourselves on, that by their struggle and tears and sweat they are helping us to believe we can accomplish great things as well.

As usual in our home, Natalie and Adam get right in the middle of all the goings on. They don't quite understand the meaning of it all but they know it's something big. Today at lunch Natalie asked Tim, "Daddy when are we gonna watch the Unlympics?". The Olympics are what the known, the celebrated, the practiced take part in. But each one of us is a player in our own "Unlympics". We hone our skill as we drive the same route through the same traffic each day. We reiterate our principles as we explain why the answer is No to our child for the 100th time each day. We reinforce our discipline as we kneel to pray over worries instead of seeking a big spend or an expensive meal to assuage our fear.

Every day we do the same thing over and over and over again. Maybe it's not as breathtaking as Michael Phelps dolphin kicks and incredible speed in the pool. Not nearly as exciting as Shaun Johnson's difficult dismount from the uneven bars. But still as vital, still as worthwhile. Our crowd of onlookers is much smaller, our gains not nearly as rapid, our struggle more often within. But each day we crawl out of bed, pick up our dream and keep going. We are competing as well. But our race is lifelong.

Just Another Day on the Job

Here's what Tim did at work yesterday and today. Sure beats a desk job huh?

Dwell

Contemplation has been my main mood lately. Nothing new. Just for longer stretches of time than usual. I've been studying how my words and actions and very ways of being affect my children, for good or for ill. How many times I have failed to concern myself with the end result and instead cared only with gaining the desired response with immediacy. I have come to see the error of this way of thinking and behaving. Especially as a mother.

Rome wasn't built in a day and it is impossible to build the kind of character and inner fortitude in the heart of a child that will last them through life's storms without a focus on the inward response rather than just the outward action. How grateful I am that God doesn't judge me immediately on my wrong or seemingly wrong actions but instead examines my heart and my motives.

As a mom (and a very nouveau one at that!) I have come to see that I cannot accurately and fairly make a judgement on the intents of my children's hearts, the motives behind their actions unless I first come to really know my children. Sure, I can know them in many physical senses; I know their favorite snack or book or song; I know they both need their favorite blankets to fall asleep or that they particularly enjoy slurping out of water bottles with swirly straws. I know when they need a nap or a bath or time playing outside. But in order to have a connection with them that goes beyond these details I must dwell with them.

At first thought dwell means simply that, to live with them. Well I have certainly done that. I've attended to all the ins and outs of their daily care, meals, tooth brushing, dressing and diapering. But there's so much more to dwelling with them.
If you read further dwell also means to delay; to linger,to remain; to continue.

It is amazing the difference in my perspective and theirs when I reprioritize and just be with them. I stretch out on their bedroom floors and let them crawl all over me. Admittedly, not always easy to have hands twisting in your hair, tiny fingers poking into the corners of your eyes, counting your teeth, whispering in your ear and wiggly bodies bouncing on your belly. But once I let go of my inhibitions and let my hair down and be real, nothing compares to that. And that's the picture of Jesus I like to carry around with me. This One who was God left his high place in the heavens and came to our ordinary world and let us get to know him. (John 1:14) He knew that in order to win men's hearts he must first open his. Vulnerability. Authenticity at its best. An example I'd like to follow.

So next time you find yourself worrying about how spotless your floors aren't or how well your clothes don't fit or whether or not your hair makes the A list, toss those thoughts over your shoulders and pull up a patch of floor in your kid's rooms and ultimately in their hearts. Dwell with them.