So Much

Busy with the business of life... That's where I've been. Business makes you think of work, duty, not fun. But when I stop to reflect, to sit cross legged on the floor for a minute, to steal a kiss or a squeeze around the middle..I'm floored. It is rapturously sweet at times, immersed in the the bubbling euphoria of babyhood and the dreams of little people..The world is at their feet, shining and new and each day they wake with hope, anticipation. And I learn a little bit more about loving God from them...

Life is too exciting to walk...and so they run, pigtails flying, favorite teddy bears or blankies dragged along for the ride...everything meant to be tasted and enjoyed..

Changes are coming, have come...New decisions, a bend in the road we didn't expect. And yet they march on, the sun still shines, clouds clear and merciful sleep finds us eventually each night.

Adam is almost 4, his world inhabited by imaginary friends. From a Lego airplane to a sketch of a rabbit, each one becomes real and is given a set of adventures. He plays hard, runs fast, hugs fiercely and wrestles with his wants and the rules of home. His speediness gives way to emotional exhaustion and for a moment at night he is small again, wanting comfort, not needing to be brave or the winner. Just needing a snuggle and a story...

Natalie is boisterous and self assured, not afraid to argue for what she wants, to push ahead of the rest. Clever and quick witted, moods quickly changing from dark raincloud to a sunburst without warning. With deft fingers she creates beautiful drawings, builds elaborate creations, Almost 6, one moment clambering around pretending to be a kitty cat, the next racing her brother down the hill..A ballerina, a superhero, a fairytale princess, a weepy little girl.. Each day she plays different roles, we as her supporting cast.. Never a dull moment...Quick to soothe a hurt, offer a warm blanket to a sad hearted brother, come up with a game for a moment of boredom, she makes sunshine from scratch...

Will is a big 16 months(almost), jolly, rosy cheeked and dimpled of limbs, he walks with a swagger, cowboylike, surveying his territory. Home. A mass of tangled curls like his siblings and the same shining, clear eyed gaze, he is showing the makings of a fierce contender as well. He does not shrink back from jumping right into the fray while Natalie and Adam are fighting, a tangled mass of arms and legs twisting and in he goes, reaching boldly for the same toy they are both feuding over...Just as quickly the brave heart gives way to ragged sobs, running for comfort when a door is closed in his face or a relished opportunity (a good game of drop things in the toilet) is refused. He hums to himself as he trudges along, dragging along a roll of toilet paper, the tray off his highchair, a plunger he foraged in the closet for... A taster of life...

And Tim and I keep rolling along. Without tongue in cheek or any sugarcoated saccharin pretense I say we are MORE today than we have ever been. We are able to laugh more, give more, hope more, love more. As we have given each other room to grow and change and make mistakes we have learned more about love than any book could ever teach. Somehow we have gained that foundation of peace, that otherworldly knowledge that no matter what is thrown at us...we have MORE, we are MORE..we will be MORE..

And so I'm watching a page beginning to turn, on the cusp of another chapter of our lives and I can say without regret, I wouldn't be anywhere else..I'm not missing what's next...