Saturdays feel so nice...

Ahh, it's Saturday once more. It has taken awhile but I have learned to take a Saturday "off" or sort of, from the rest of the week. A little difficult because with Tim gone each day can feel like a weekday without the right perspective.

Saturdays still contain the voluminous laundry, toilet scrubbings, dishes and dirty diapers, but for at least a little while I do something for me. Read a magazine. Sit and drink a cup of chai and do nothing else but stare out the window and dream. Luxurious I know. If only these moments could last a little longer than a moment sometimes.

Which brings me to goals. I have been learning the value of creating S.M.A.R.T. goals. Small, Measureable, Reasonable, Time specific goals. It sure makes for much less frustration when I don't set the bar so high for myself and my little ones. For example I have learned to plan that I will only get one leg shaven in the shower before there is an outburst of tears or tussling over a toy. I may not get the entire dishwasher unloaded but I can manage the top rack and possibly the silverware before I need to change a diaper or clean up spilled milk. Sounds a little unusual and it is at first but in the end it has been a saving grace. "I will get mascara on one eye before I need to soothe a hurt or kiss a boo boo." "I can frost the bottom layer of the cake before I must stop to tie a shoe." Simple but incredibly invaluable stuff..

And we are on the countdown now. We are close to going under 100 days at which point I just know the rest of this deployment will fly by. I am thankful that we have all learned to really live and celebrate each moment of this time of separation instead of whining and whimpering for it to be over. I wouldn't trade this year apart because of the growth we have experienced in our marriage and family. We have had to work extra hard to stay close, to communicate, to dream together of what life will look like when he returns.

We have a jolly little band of characters here. Is there anything better than rosy cheeked little people marching around the house singing songs and tumbling down the halls? I think not. How I love to listen to them play and giggle. I have been stretched beyond myself many times trying to understand where they're coming from and also draw boundary lines. Always the heart triumphs over the oft stubborn will and our love of togetherness is more important than getting our own way. How I enjoy a good snuggle with a chubby little newborn boy, the way he laughs hysterically when Natalie and Adam jump on the couch. How sweet to be asked to join in the play and to see the excitement on faces as though nothing could be better than Mama as part of the game..

Each evening I can hardly wait till all is dark and quiet, Will has nursed off to dreamland and I can get down to business and workout. Yes, I have found nothing is quite so refreshing and strengthening and even peace giving at the end of the day than an hour long workout. Listening to some music, pushing the toys and puzzles out of the way and hitting the mat or doing cardio has been amazing for me, not only results wise but in the way I feel. Clear headed and on top of the world.

Coming to realize over these past months that Jesus just loves me for me. Never really grasped that in any real way before. That I can't do anything to make him more or less in love with me. He just is because I am. Freeing. Incredibly so.

So that's my ramble. All these things have been knocking about in my head for quite some time, just rarely do I have the spare minute to jot it all down. Now I must go eat a "giant jelly sandwich" made out of couch cushions and a fleece blanket in between, nurse a hungry boy and snuggle with a little boy who is right now a "kitty cat". The stuff of life...